Devdas

My goodness I'm so in love with this movie. I've seen it being recommended on google but i never really did watch it. It was a burst of emotions that seems so foreign to me yet so familiar. The heartache it gave me, the songs, everything is just so wonderful so depressing. Its a beautiful kind of sadness. It's so difficult to be put into words. Btw, Deena was the one who introduced me to it unintentionally. She was just asking if it was supposed to be that depressing and I was curious so I watched the darn film. The songs, omg the songs it was familiar, very familiar in fact cause i've heard it multiple times on vasantham i think. And this song, Silsila Yeh Chahat Ka, its so gorgeous. Aishwarya Rai was beautiful in the movie and the actors and actresses were on point. Mahduri was the excellent courtesan with the wonderful moves and Shah Rukh Khan was Devdas obviously with his amazing actor skills and he was so good at potraying the confused Devdas, unsure of what to do with this love he found himself in that was forbidden in a sense of caste and family name. Oh dear how am I gonna let this excitement bubble down. I feel like Ive drown in the beauty of this movie that uses the tongue of peotry. I may not truely understand the deep meaning behind each of the scene but i do see myself rewatching this when ive matured a bit more to see what ive missed out being in my 20s or even last year as a teen. For now, I shall just let myself be dose in the goodness of Silsila Yeh Chahat Ka.

My heart felt

Natasha Bedingfield is making me feel so much weird emotions. HAHAHA now I'm currently having clinicals and its great however kinda worried about my results. Woodlands have accepted me based on my interview so now its pending cause of my sem 1 results. Oh dear.

SCREWED

Whatsup future Mairah. So i solved the very tedious process of logging out of my google account. So troublesome. Its 3 in the morning and I'm not sleeping cause some genius decided it would be fun to put two test on the same day. So yeah. And why am I not studying instead? Cause stuff is bugging me. And the actual answer to all your problems is to put your trust in Allah and put in effort. AND obviously having tons of patience is key too. May Allah resolve this problem. Ameen Edit: Late night rant is obviously filled with loads of mistakes. I just wanna say sorry. Cause I complain to you a lot. And I rarely talk about the good things in life. In syaa Allah I'll talk about good stuff in the next post. I love you.

Bad week

Hey there. Just realise I'm bad at socializing. Maybe that's why I'm always left out and always a second choice. Bye Update: And now they wanna take my kitten away

To the past and future me

Hey there. I just wanted to say that it really all worked out in the end and i mean now. Despite your results, you got into diagnosic radiography and its pretty rad. HAH! Okay except physics. Btw see what i did there? Okay you might be annoyed that i'm not capitalising my "i"s but its just that i'm not in the mood to be corect. I feel weird. Like I pissed someone off and this person means a lot to me. I'm not sure but to me it seems like she's avoiding me? Maybe its all in my head? But i'm a bad friend for forgetting her birthday. I'm not keeping track of my days nowadays and its just horrible. Btw Muizah got a kitty and i just call him kucing kecik for now. But i doubt my efforts to not be so attached to this creature is all in vain cause i adore him. Even much so cause he lets me kiss his cheeks. hehehe so cute . I'm not sure if im doing the right stuff for now but let's just treat everyone with kindness. I FEEL LONELY :C i'm very lonely. i'm not doing it right. I hope the future is better for you honey bun. I love you dearly and I hope you have seen the light of day when the storm has passed. Peace

AWESOME DAY EVER

So today was an awesome day cause SENPAI NOTICED ME HAHAHAH no but the thing is that Mr Sark noticed me on twitch chatroom hooomaigosh i swear. He is awesome and you should check out his vid man. His edits are amazing and super funny. He just said "to hoppityhobbit yes nick(nfen) has a youtube channel and you should check it out" it was during a live stream and he was playing nazi zombie 3 with allshamnowow, nfen and aplfisher who won in cs:go and was late for the party. Then sham said something about his youtube channel and nfen was saying " yeah you should check my youtube channel ...." and he was just jesting sbout sham's gamer tag. Woahhhhhh just thinking that he noticed me is like amazing. HE KNOWS I EXIST hahahaha okay I'm being real creepy right now. But this is something worth remembering cause i'm just a lowly fan and he answered my qn. Maybe its also thanks to the guy to replied to me on the chat too. Thanks man! Appreciate it loads! C: Future Mairah i hope more awesome things to come happened to you my friend. Peace

Down in the dumps

I'm feeling down today as you can see from the post title. And its 10.16pm. Yup I'm kinda shocked too that I'm posting quite early cause I mostly reflect around 2 am. I guess it must be pms. So I just got my results for A's back and the results are horrible. No surprise there really. However, it really narrowed down my choices and that's awesome cause I think I know what I wanna do in the future now. I know that I really like kid from a certain observation I made of myself. Yes I observe myself cause I dont know me that well. I'm really hoping to look back and read these post to wonder why I was so worried in the first place. I know I need a plan b if this doesnt work out. But man I never thought of making it into a career. Cause I fear making drawing a bothersome and tiring thing. Its what makes me feel relaxed and I have the power of expresing myself despite the picture being totally irrelevent to how I'm feeling. However the detail that i put into my drawing reflects my mood. I love video games too so I guess it suits me. But I'm not sure if Singapore has a space for me. As in the field of work I'm interested in. Dayum there's so much to think about being 20. Do you experience this extential crisis too? Ja' feel? I hope I'm not the only one cause I'm the type to feel calm when I see that people do go through these moments and lived to tell the tale. How am I gonna get 12-20 artworks? GYAHHHHH.....must...persevere....i need advice real bad :C